Our Writing

As the year progresses, we are learning to write in increasingly descriptive ways. At the moment we are looking at a couple of descriptive techniques (AFSAS) to create 'punchy' sentences. See how well we are doing!

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"Swimming" 

The Lake: I see a big fridge with a bowl of melted (still freezing) ice. (Oscar)

I was trying to get in slowly, with macaroni shaking legs, when the pebbles flew away from under my feet. (Sam M)

It’s dark, its damp, its dreadful! (Kahu)

I tried to get in slowly but.... Splash! I fell in. (Maz)

I hated swimming. It gave me the chills. Brrrrrrr. As I slid into the icy cold water it rose quickly and snatched my breath away. (Holly)

“I don’t want to go swimming. It is horrible. It is too cold” I mumbled to my self (Erin)

I hated swimming! It was always too cold, especially in the lake. (Millie)

Sometimes, but not often, Mr Dobson would take us to the icy cold beach. I tried to make myself vomit  so I didn’t have to go.  (Baxter)

Shivering, I reluctantly got in. (Sophia)

I can feel the sloppy moss-covered stones slipping between my toes and rubbing against my feet, as I swam around the icy cold water.  (Henry)